The List

1

Now spelt backwards is won! Not too obvious right? But so often we, and I included, miss the now and the won!

I met a friend the other day and we talked so much about the memories, the laughs, experiences, the mad night’s out, the hangovers, the morning chats, the madness and calm, the parents, the football teams, basically the everything’s!

Then we talked about the future, the dreams, the hopes, the plans, the expectation and the bills, the homes, the gyms, the partners, the kids and the holidays!

What a load of fluff!  Why you ask?

It’s good to have memories and dreams right? Of course it is and as I write this I will never want to lose them as I guess it’s what drives us and reminds us! I guess it’s what makes us the internet of the “Now!” But and it’s a massive but! What about the Now?

Living in the “Right” now can be awkward, painful, happy, realistic, truthful, eventful, but above all “true!”   It is the “Now” and in all honestly it’s all we really have! It really is.

You see yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift! That’s why the call it “The present!”

I love a list, everyone should make “lists” but always do what I do.  Always add something to the list you’ve already done, it’s so rewarding crossing something off at 10am! Reward yourself before you start!

My list today was this:

  1. Hoover home (I’d already done this so winning already)
  2. Invoices
  3. Call a friend! (they called me so it doesn’t count!)
  4. Sing loudly to a song
  5. Washing (this will be on tomorrow’s list too!)
  6. Write This! (tick!)
  7. Speak to my daughter as embarrassing dad (FOUR ticks!)
  8. Work hard
  9. Be kind
  10. Help someone selflessly
  11. Buy broccoli
  12. Buy eggs
  13. Search daughter’s Xmas list online
  14. Find a guitar (long story!)

It’s a list in the NOW!

I’m an over thinker so for to over think, triggers my anxiety and the over thinking gets even worse. It really is a catch twenty-two and it can be very hard to snap out of and then comes along my old friend, depression! I have tools today to help manage this and I’m always looking at new ways! My first thing that I do is bring everything down to me and my present, then comes the second list. I write a two column list (is it becoming obvious I love a list?) Column 1 title is “Worry”.  The second column title is “Is that possible? Then list all the things that are flashing by in your head under the “Worry” column.  Using the “Is that possible” column, I sit and think about whether it can even happen but I remove the “What if” question that so many impossible scenarios can become possible by using.  This works so well for me as I’m removing the spiralling thoughts fling around like a waltzer at the fun fair and putting them somewhere other than your head.

I then like to go for a walk, meet people, call a friend, or watch a movie and control my breathing, remembering all the time that it’s not in my head it’s on a piece of paper. Although I understand sometimes getting out of bed can seem like the impossible. The loneliness , the fear the thinking, the negativity, the unrealistic thoughts. When this has happened to me in the past I have brought everything down to 5 minutes – in this 5 minutes I will do this. In this 5 minutes I’ll do that and so on, then maybe up it to 10 minutes? Try it, it really does work. Failing that, deep breaths and listen to your breathing. Maybe even for a minute, remember you could do a list!

“Time stands still for no man” or so the saying goes but actually it does if we only allowed it too (although I have to include women in this scenario as to be fair I have always found them the greater species!)  I was divorced a while back and frankly without my wife I was bloody hopeless, but you learn quickly!

I guess the point of this blog this week is to just appreciate all we have rather than all that happened and all that will be! Over 25 years ago I had a chat with my brother on the phone.  I was 20, he was 18.   Did I tell him “I love you?” NO! Did we have good banter, always.  Days later he was killed in a car accident.  That was it, never to speak again, never to see his face, only in my thoughts and dreams.   Was I to ever hug him again? No  It was over in a second.

Relish every moment, live in the now, don’t care what other people think of you, its your life, not anyone elses.  In fact if they gossip to you about anyone else, I promise you they are doing it about you. Keep the positive, no matter how small!  Don’t sweat the small stuff, live to the max and be kind.   But mostly be kind to yourself for without kindness and love for yourself first, the rest that follows is hard work. Life is an inside job, master that, believe in you and know you are unique.

Enjoy your next list and let it start with……

  1. I love me, just the way I am.

Thank you and see you next week.

1 COMMENT

Leave a Reply