Mind the gap the sign said! Oops! One torn hamstring later and a sciatic nerve pounding I think I may read the sign next time!
I’m sending this blog from an aeroplane high in the sky, rushing home to see my daughter who’s 15th birthday it is this day! 15! When did that happen? Last time I looked she was being held in my arms in a hospital as I counted her fingers and toes! Time really does fly which is why I decided to focus this week’s blog on “Time!”
As I sit on the plane above the World I got thinking about how far away I was from everything and everyone. I was simply just sat with myself, my thoughts and my feelings. This is an odd concept in a World that moves so fast – it was me, myself and I.
I’ve spent a lot of time on my own, it’s the joys of being a comedian! So many long journeys and time with my own thoughts, which can sometimes not be a great thing! You see the problem is I’m an over thinker, which when left alone can lead me all over the place. My head telling my head things can often lead to conclusions that really are devoid of any reality! It’s probably one of my biggest mental health battles but I try my best to keep it in check. I say “try” as I’m not perfect and some days I find my mind drifting off and telling me what’s going to happen without it even happening!
Where ever we go in the World we have to take us with us. We cannot escape ourselves! The longest relationship we will have with anyone in our lifetime is with “Self”. Yet we seem to not put as much effort into self-care and love as we would with others! As I sit on the plane this really plays on my mind (it happens all the time).
I have experience of this as I’m sure we all do! The holiday will make it better? The new car will cheer me up? The shoes are going to make everything ok and the list goes on! The truth is and its my experience that no matter what the outside influence is, unless the self-love, self-respect and a stable positive mind is in place the rest is all fluff!
When my brother died many years a go we dashed off on a holiday as “that would make it better!” Although the idea seemed plausible and healing at the time, the truth remained, my brother had still died and the grief still in the front of my head. The only thing that had changed was the view!
I have spent many years trying to run away from myself in the past , suffering with PTSD, depression and anxiety. Why would I want to sit with it? Best run away right? Trust me after many years running it really is not the best idea! Although short relief, comes it doesn’t last long and soon, as is my experience, the mind catches up on the running game. The mind has endless energy unlike the running soul!
Sitting with yourself can be a very uncomfortable experience, or at least with me in the past it has been. I don’t mean sitting in traffic or on a train, plane or busy high street. I mean really sitting with just you. I’ve done a lot of this recently and its pretty astonishing to just listen to your breathing, away from everything, just sat with me, listening to me, clearing my mind, listening to my body and chucking out every negative thought. Focusing on positivity and simply loving myself for me. Yes me, a thing over my life, as I’ve said, is an alien concept.
Did I need to go away? Buy shoes? Eat a great meal? Go out? No. Not one of these things (although they are exciting things they are not me nor do they define me, only I can do that and its an inside job!)
If you look back on a day (as I have just done), look at how many times you just sat with you, yes, just you! You will be surprised! Time never stops. Life gets faster and more demanding. The list of daily jobs gets longer, demands on your time for others seems sometimes never ending. Struggles can sometimes seem over powering yet we don’t service the one thing to cope with this thing called life! Time is so precious, spend just a minute with yourself each day as you would water a plant and watch yourself bloom and grow.
Yes you have time, because you have the choice to make the time. And why? Because it’s your time and no matter if you are on a plane going somewhere, in a busy office, dashing for the school run, shopping or planning a thing. Just take time for you. Why? Because you really are worth it! You really really are!
I heard a great story once and it fits well with today’s blog. A young kid was trying to do a jigsaw of the World but was failing badly. She kept running downstairs to ask her dad for help but he was too busy, again and again she ran down the stairs for help and again he said “keep trying.” Eventually on the last trip downstairs her dad asked her to sit beside him with the World jigsaw. Her dad turned the pieces over and there was a picture of a broken man. Slowly she and her dad put the man back together. When they had finished, her dad hugged her and turned the picture over and there was a perfect jigsaw picture of the World. His daughter hugged her dad tight with joy and said “Thank you so much Dad!” The father stared at his daughter and said “You see honey, when you put the man back together the whole World falls into place!”
Have the best day and go put your tiny pieces back together and then you can go anywhere in the World and just by yourself, with yourself and loving yourself.
Have a great new relationship with you!